Al the African MVP

Hello again...

Just so ya know, I love the comments. Please feel free to comment whenever the mood strikes.

I don't have good pictures to go along with this post, so instead I'll just add random pictures of our misadventures all throughout. Ok? Ok. Here's one now.

This one was taken at a Noreabang (pronounced Nor-ee-bong). Apparently, the Japanese are not the only Asian nation obsessed with paying money to sing popular hits. The only major difference between this place and Karaoke bars is that Noraebangs have private rooms, each with it's own singing set up. The one we were at had rooms about the size of a comfortable US living room. The bonus was that you were allowed to bring in outside beverages, rather than paying a lot more to buy their stuff.

Of course, to be fair, I'm not certain we were allowed to bring it in. It could also have been that they didn't know a good way to explain to 6 large Americans that we couldn't bring in our stuff. Of course, I'm not sure there IS a good way to say that...

There. You got a picture. Now listen to this.

I'm talking with one of my classes, like I'm suppose to do, when they start talking about Mad Cow Disease again. Having already narrowly escaped an aneurysm last time, I tried valiantly to change the subject. However, these little... darlings... wouldn't give it a rest. As long as I was defying death I decided to see if I could learn anything else about this deadly bovine threat. Turns out, between this and some of Jen's web surfing, we have a decent theory.

Know how we worry about businesses being in bed with the government? Turns out there's no need to fear in South Korea. It's already happened.

Basically, there's 6 major corporations that control most of South Korea. Some you've heard of: Hyundai, LG, Daewoo, etc. These folks make EVERYTHING. The city buses are Daewoo. My apartment is made by Hyundai (lousy mileage, FYI). They're controlling the market on blenders, cars, construction materials, media outlets, food distributors, you name it. The States try to start selling extra beef to South Korea. The Sinister 6 (Spider Man? Any one?) couldn't match prices. The SK government still bought it, thinking it be good to offer beef to it's citizens. So when a rumor on the net about Mad Cow reached the Korean peninsula the media jumped on it like it was Ivan's last BBQ rib. Soon it's coming out of every outlet- tv, radio, magazines, the works. Several groups in the US attempted to try to correct the misinformation with pamphlets and things, only to be told their material would be taken out and replaced if it was shipped.

Now, I'll be the first to admit this wouldn't fly back home. We don't trust our government, our news media, each other, or ourselves. Only Oprah. And sometimes Dr. Phil. But South Korea's nationalism is borderline unnerving at times. Anything made in China is crap that will fall apart. They're still angry with Japan for not having apologized for occupying Korea. I know you're wondering: Japan occupied Korea from about 1910 until about 1945, following the Japanese defeat in World War II. There is also a dispute between Korea and Japan over ownership of the Dokdo Islands, which not one of you care about. I promise.

But I made you read all that because it is also widely believed, and here comes the kicker, that the only thing keeping North and South Korea from being one big happy family is the American Military presence.

Still with me?

Yes, they're right. If the American military wasn't here then there would be only one Korea. Of course, it be a desperately poor war-torn military dictatorship with horrible human rights violations and a complete cut off from the outside world, but it would be unified...

Ok, that was depressing. Time for another picture.

This is me with John. John is the father of Melissa, a Canadian I work with. It is a shame John couldn't have met my folks, they would have gotten along great. As it was, Melissa had to call it a night while John and I, along with Jen and two other Western folks we met randomly, sat around and had some laughs until the sky bright again. He was an absolute trip. He and Melissa took off for Hong Kong for a few days while he was here. He'd come in from Australia and was heading back home to Canada for a bit with plans to visit Singapore, or maybe Thailand, next.

Now that's what I call retirement.

But we have not made Al an African or an MVP yet, have we? Well, let's do that.

During this thoroughly depressing conversation with my class they began to alternately bash China, Japan, and the US. Eventually, with a growing headache, I asked them if they realized I was from the US. There was a look of utter confusion before one of the 13 year olds- yes, 13- said, "But teacher, your African!"

"What?" I asked, my brain beginning emergency shut-down procedures.

"Africa. Teacher is black." she replied, clearly perplexed as to why I didn't know my own heritage.

"No, I'm not." Fighting the urge to just lay down and take a nap, I whipped out my Ipod and showed them a picture of a black person. "That is a black person."

"But you are darker than me." She pointed out patiently.

"So is everyone else." Granted, not my most professional response. But all things considered an incredible show of restraint.

I will now have to give public thanks to Jessica and Mark, two of my fellow teachers, for warning me something like this could happen. I don't know if I could have kept my brain inside my skull otherwise.

"If it hadn't been for that horse, I would never have spent that year in college..."

And here's a shot of Jenn with, well, Jennifer. She is yet another amongst the Western Plus working crowd. Her and her boyfriend Jeremy are wrapping up their year here in South Korea. They're a lot of fun to hang out with. We're enjoying golbi, that delicious Korean staple, while sitting on the floor. For the record, we're over that. They have both tables and chairs in Korea. Why they aren't more popular is a regular point of wonderment between Jenn and I. My Jen, not the other one. Well, ok, dark Jen. Maybe African Jen?

My fellow teachers have found my new found heritage to be the source of great amusement. And to be fair, so have I. Having only seen 4 black people away from the nation-dividing US military I have not had an opportunity to compare notes.

Ok, so this part I was very happy about.

Saturday was PLUS day. All Plus employees (easily 50+ Koreans and around 15 foreigners) loaded up on a bunch of buses and we were driven out to a park about an hour away where we had a huge sports day. They fed everyone tons of food, served copious amounts of alcohol, and had a huge branch vs. branch competition. Jen's branch, Gerium, and my temporary home, Junggay, fought over which school would get me. I stayed out of it, thinking perhaps it was a "You take him!" "No! You take him!" moment, like middle school basketball all over again. Turns out they both actually wanted me! I know, I was surprised too.

So we get down to the competitions. Let me tell you something: My wife does not mess around. We can't be certain, but we're pretty sure they pulled her from one of the games for messing up some poor Korean girl. There were a bunch of sheets of paper on the ground, one side white and the other black. Two teams had about a minute to flip as many as possible to their side. Jen claims it wasn't true, but from where I was sitting I'm pretty sure she had this chick in a headlock. She did confess to "knocking over" several teachers who were attempting to sit on the papers. God, I love my wife.

Her husband, on the other hand, managed to make a good showing for himself. I had a beautiful hit in kickball, as well as scoring a MUCH needed out on a pop fly. Although, to be fair, I also ran into a beer truck trying to chase down another hit to the out field. Yes, it hurt. And yes, it was very funny.

But my time to shine came during tug of war. Your favorite African (I'm thinking Nigeria. I'd love to visit.) took up anchor and knocked out 6 matches in a row, back to back. My much more athletic teammates, pulling from the front, still gave me a lot of credit for the win.

In the end, Jen's team from Gerium dominated. My folks at Junggye pulled second. But the MVP, out of all 65+, was none other than yours truly. I got a big round of applause, and even better, $100 cash. That's Narnia money right there.

How impressed you are by this depends on how long you've known me. Folks who have known me since college are impressed. Folks who knew me in high school are floored. Eli, Dan B., and a few others fell out of their chairs and are unconscious on the floor.

Some one should call a doctor. Seriously.

My parents, of course, always knew I could do it.

My brother doesn't believe me.

Ok, time for another pic.

This is a picture of Mark and a little old Korean woman in the subway. Mark had no idea what she was saying, which was fine, since she had no idea what Mark was saying. The best part was 2 minutes after this was taken when she sprayed him dead in the eyes with pepper spray.

Ok, ok. That didn't happen. But wouldn't it have been hilarious if it had?

Ok, This one has gone on long enough. We're doing awesome out here, aside from the fact that every muscle in my body hurts. Jen is hurting too and just wants to lay in bed alternating between naps and reading her book. So I'm stuck hanging out in the PC Bang playing online games.

"Wow, it really is a hard knock life."

-Dan Sterling

As Always,

Al

P.S. I had one more to share. This is following the picnic, and I thought it was a good shot. From left to right: Naomi (Japanese, pronounced No-a-mee), Jessica, Meaghan, Dillon, Mark, Jen, and Devin was unfortunately about two feet too far to the right. Well, his left.