Tuesday, November 25, 2008

My mom's coming. Also, I can hit stuff real hard.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!!

I hope Turkey Day finds all of you well. It's sad to think we won't get to join you guys, but we are doing the next best thing.

I'm doing an American Thanksgiving in a Canadian Bar in the middle of Seoul. Also, my mom is coming.

We've got Koreans, Americans, Canadians, South Africans, a few British, and I think a Dane or two, along with a smattering of others. All told we're talking about over 50 people from all over the world sitting down to a huge pot luck dinner.

Sounds pretty American to me.

My mom and Dart will be flying out on Thursday as well, and should arrive Friday night, for me. To say we're excited is an understatement. Seeing a face from home will be so amazing for us right now, I really don't think I can express it.

But enough about that, let's talk about hitting stuff.

Muay Thai is going amazing. I'm going as often as I can, usually 3-4 times a week. I've been going for a little less than a month, and I've learned some basic kicks and now I'm working on some punches. My first test will happen in a few weeks, I think. But most exciting of all:
I got my wraps today.

The wraps are about 2 yards of 2 inch black fabric, used to wrap up the knuckles and help brace the wrist. But to me they're a lot more. Ya see, I earned these. I am sore beyond belief, but I can pop out 100 sit ups after the most exhausting workout I could have imagined. I practiced and practiced and I finally progressed to the point where I have received something to mark my progress. It's pretty huge for me. It's, really and truly, the fulfillment of a life long dream. I'm learning a martial art, and a pretty hardcore one at that. Wow...

As long as I'm bragging (and really, when am I not?) here's what I spend my weekends with.


Now the one on the end should look pretty familiar. The other brunette is Claire, and the one in the middle is Angel. The past few weekends Hotel Sterling has been in full effect. The subways out here shut down a little after midnight, and the four of us are usually out a wee bit later than that. As a result, we all end up at my place.

As awesome as this sounds, I would like to take a moment and reiterate something I have said before: polygamy, from a man's point of view, is a horrible idea. Angel and Claire are sweethearts, don't get me wrong, but the novelty of this little experience wears off, and does so pretty quickly. Then you're just stuck listening to a ceaseless tirade of shopping escapades, makeup tips, and Gossip Girls on TV. Not to mention that instead of having half a vote, like I usually do in my marriage (I had a full vote, but Jen says I only get half until I can learn to make better decisions. She has a point.), I now get an eighth. (I won't share how long it took me to do the math.) I am lost amid a sea of estrogen, and the sharks smell blood in the water.

I really don't have much more to add here, folks. So you get off easy this week. I don't know that I'll get one out while my mom's in town, but this makes 7 for November, so I feel like I'm doing pretty well. If you get depressed, just go back and reread one of the old ones. You'll be ok...


Once more, much love and happy Thanksgiving. We miss you all.

-Al (& Jen!)

Thursday, November 20, 2008

What A Difference A Day Makes

Yesterday, about this time, I was getting pretty sick of all this.

Today, well, I feel better.

Could it be the amazing impromptu dinner party Jen and I had last night? Perhaps. Baked potatoes had been a very rare thing, and the BBQ sauce I whipped up would make my dad awfully proud. Add in some good company and the world seems to make a bit more sense.



Those veggies on the end were amazing too, by the way. And no one complained about the mismatched silverware and plates. Thank goodness... I'd have been so embarrassed.


The next morning I ventured off into the great unknown. I was a hunter, and I knew my prey. I knew the grounds where my quarry dwelt. I had stalked, sulked, and occasionally even slinked. Here's my first kill:


This is the 3rd pair of headphones I've purchased since coming to Korea. I'm afraid I'm a little rough on them, and they get a heck of a lot more use than they ever did back home. I got a little crazy with this latest pair, though... it just seemed really American.

After that I went into a section of town known as Namdaemun. This fertile hunting ground has just about everything you could imagine- from raw fish to high end electronics, from clothes to stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal, it's all there. I went hunting for vanilla extract, chocolate chips, and a carton of Camels.

Now, before you get upset, I haven't taken up smoking. Neither has Jen. But I have a few friends who really wanted some, and I have developed a knack for finding things out here. And so I went into the grounds. How'd I do? Here's how I did.


I descended into a market that is several square miles in size and emerged with all 3 items. Including the extra stop for the headphones it took me right at one hour. OH MY GOODNESS, I AM AMAZING.










Of course, then I got lost. I had to call Jen, and she helped talk me back to the subway.

What can I say? I'm a hunter... not a... returner?

OH!! Did you notice the oven? We're SO freakin excited. It arrived a few days ago. We've rocked baked potatoes, one killer meatloaf, and the aforementioned BBQ chicken. We are very pleased.

And then, after returning victorious from the hunting fields, my wife and I set to making some chocolate chip cookies. With Christmas music in the background and us just about to put the first batch in the oven Jen glances out the window and says... you guessed it...

"Is that snow?"


This is about the best picture we could get. It's really a shame, too. It was just a flurry, we're told, and it all melted the second it hit the ground, but for a little bit it was actually coming down!! It was very exciting. We ran outside, enjoyed the moment together, then went back inside and finished off our first batch of Christmas cookies.

All told, I kinda felt the Good Lord's hand patting me on the shoulder, as if to say gently to me, "Al. Seriously. Chill out. I got this. And let's face it, you're not that bright."

So I thought I'd pass on some good cheer, oh friends and family of ours. Yeah, they're going to try to screw us. But we'll be fine.

Heck, we always are.

Here, by the way, is my wife making cookies.



She is, as always, the very picture of home, hearth, and beauty.


Here's her husband....



I couldn't decide on a caption. Here were my favorites...

Whats that? You need this cookie dough mixed without an electric beater? I'll just use my GUNS!

or...

I bake. You gotta problem with that?

or...

Cookies or DEATH?!

or...

Terrorist? Maybe. But don't judge me until you've tried my chocolate chip cookies. Just sayin...

Much love folks.

-Al & Jen

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

This One Ain't Happy.

Ya know, people ask me all the time...


So we just had a big meeting where they announced a huge overhaul of our schedule. More stuff coming down from our new parent company.

Here's the dilemma I'm facing.

I have a contract. I have obligations under this contract. However, I was lied to prior to signing the contract, and my employer has not always done their part of the deal. However, they corrected the problems, albeit only after being caught and chaos erupting. Now they're staying within the bounds of the contract, but it's possible (read: definitely) going to end with us getting some less than ideal treatment.

How obligated am I to follow keep up my end of the bargain?

Normally, I'd say quit, then the contract doesn't matter. Not that easy out here, however. We're in the home stretch, and if we can put up with this for 5 months we'll be netting a sizable amount of scratch for our considerable trouble...

I'm frustrated because I know what's going to happen, and no one, not the Koreans, not the foreign teachers, no one, will listen to a damn word I've got to say. Since being here I've been stabbed in the back multiple times, and left swinging in the wind more than once as well. This place has managed to surpass the YMCA as of this afternoon.

Scratch that: My amazing wife, of course, listens to me. But that doesn't really count since she knew it too. And no, they don't listen to her either. Morons.

But back to the contract: I'm betting most of you would say that I wasn't obligated to follow a contract I signed under false pretenses that my employer already broke. However, Jen and I seem to be the only ones out here who feel this way. The other foreign teachers don't see a problem. They're actually getting a little annoyed that I do have a problem with it. But Jen and I trying to fight this battle solo is a lost cause.

The other option is to just start doing a half-assed job. It's what several of my nearest and dearest friends would do. I'm leaning that way, but my folks instilled this "work ethic" thing in me, and I can only slack so far.

Where's my Johnny Paycheck CD?

I love Korea. I love a lot of the people I've met. But good Lord almighty, I'm hating this job....

In the end, we'll have to wait until the 1st of the year (when all the changes take effect) and see how it looks. I could be wrong. It could all work out. It could also start raining $100 bills. I could also decide I could do better than Jen. All of these things have an equal chance of happening. Brad told me it was called 'Relative Zero'

NOTE: If it does work out, I'm still staying with Jen. Mom, calm down. Boys, sit down. She's still mine.

Sorry it wasn't a happy blog. But I've been saving a very special

SIGN TIME!!!

for just such an occasion.


No, I don't have any freakin' idea.

-Al

Monday, November 17, 2008

Q: What Does Korea and Al Have In Common?

A: Both are cold and bitter.

It's officially freezing here in South Korea. I'm so confused.

It's the logistics off all this that keeps throwing me off. For example, when it's freezing outside you have to put on a bunch of clothes. But then you get to where you're going, you're hot. So then you start to take off the extra clothes. When you layer, doesn't this get awkward? I mean, it's one thing to take off a jacket. But what about the jacket and the sweatshirt? And the legs is just weird. I mean, is it kosher to take off extra sweatpants?

And what happens when it snows? I know enough to realize that stuff is wet, so I have to, I assume, wear an outer later of nylon or something. But then what do I do? Do I sit in wet pants, or can I peel those suckers off? And then there's the 15 minute walk to the dojang (Korean word for dojo) I do every morning. How the heck does that fit in? And then, afterwards I'm all sweaty and that really sucks when it's cold out...

In Florida, you just wear jeans. Grab a jacket, everyone knows you won't need it after 11:30am. But you can leave it in your car!!

In other news, we got a big meeting on Wednesday. Since we've been bought by this bigger company they're saying that they'll be changing our class structure. To say I'm suspicious is to say that the Miami Dolphins are amazing. Both are obvious understatements.

I gotta tell ya, I had one fantastic weekend. We spent time with wonderful people, I blew the doors off the bar I volunteer at (Not literally, Jose. Calm down. Oh, my friend Jose, not my father-in-law Jose...) and in general just owned this town. Then came Monday...

I'm close to hating this job. It's not as bad as Fazoli's was at the end, that job I hated. But PLUS and the YMCA are just about tied. I don't trust them, and there isn't much to redeem it. But hey, we've only got 5 1/2 months left until we're finished, and knowing me, I'll check out all but physically in another 4 months. Ok, ok... 3 months. 2 1/2. FINE!! I've got 2 weeks until I reach the summit of Apathy Mountain.

The date is significant, by the by, because that's when my mom and Dart arrive. WOO HOO!! The only thing that could possibly be better than faces from home is new underwear.

I'm not kidding. For some reason my washer has a razorblade spin cycle. I don't even know why they have that option, but my clothes keep coming out looking like they were used for a katana demonstration, and the whole damn washer is in Korean, so I've got no clue how to make it play nice...

Ok, I'm going to eat hot soup. Much love, folks. Letcha know when it snows...

-Al

Friday, November 14, 2008

Halloween- Better Late Than Never?

Well, this is ridiculously late.

Nevertheless, here are the pictures from Halloween. Jen was an entirely overly attractive witch, and yours truly was a creepy clown. I was hosting the Acoustic Showdown at Rocky Mountain Tavern, my home away from home away from home. It was great times...

Ok, it's Friday night and I'm getting ready to go out. Not far, mind you. My legs aren't working since my Muay Thai training has left walking just this side of impossible. So enjoy your weekend, folks. I'm going to crawl to a corner and cry.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Muay Thai and Hallmark

Greetings;

Ok, so the last blog was pretty heavy, I know. But this one has a lot more pictures, and should be a little more entertaining. After all, Barack Obama is president. The world's problems now have an expiration date.

I know, I know, I promised to stay out of politics in here. And this isn't about politics. It is about the reaction. It was borderline scary. There were literally dozens of Obama Parties across the city. I was told that I (meaning America) was forgiven, and several folks, American, Korean, Canadian, what have you, seem to think Obama can walk on water. I don't care who we elected, I just don't have the much faith in elected officials. But they're happy, so who am I to judge?

I went to an Obama party, by the way. The food was good, and the company was very polite. After giving my last post another read I want to make sure I don't let the handful of wackos spoil it for all the amazing folks I've met.

So let's talk about Pepero.

Peperos are chopstick-shaped pretzel things, with one end usually dipped in chocolate. They're not bad, but nothing worth blogging about. Until, that is, it became November 11th. You see, November 11th (11/11... get it? 'Cause of the shape...) is Pepero day in Korea. The idea is that you buy Pepero and give it as a gift to friends and family. The 70 cent box jumps up to an even $1, and these things fly off the shelves like PS2 copies of Rock Band. Not only that, around this time of year you can find rare types of Pepero that is only released in honor of this "holiday". The variety is enough to make an American proud. You can buy these suckers in every way imaginable. And yes, Pepero is a brand name.

Hallmark ain't got nuthin' on these folks.





The other news of note is I finally started taking a martial art. A couple of the other foreign teachers started Muay Thai a few months back not far from where I live, and the timing was perfect. So, I started up about a week ago.

The gym is on the second floor of an unassuming building near a local women's university. What you're looking at in the picture is just about all of it. Forget the professional offices and large training areas tucked into pretty strip malls. This place is small, kinda dirty, and the office is an old desktop stuck in a corner. I love it. Oh, take special note of the girl on the right of the picture. See her? She can kill you. I don't care who is reading this, if you're initials aren't N.A., she can kill you. Even if they are, I wouldn't bet on it. She is one of the two females who train there. They are friendly, even if their English isn't all that good. They stand every bit of 5 foot flat, and weigh about 100 pounds soaking wet. But I watched that little girl jump 3 or 4 feet in the air and snap off two kicks, on either side of the bag. One of those would have knocked this much larger man on his butt. Two would have resulted in some kind of permanent damage.


This is Master Kim. Despite the unoriginal naming of an Asian martial artist, Master Kim is built a bit like Eli, only skinnier. Once, during a practice, he caught my buddy on the shin. It hurt like a sonofagun. My buddy limped away for a minute, trying to work it out. Master Kim laughed at him, walked over to a metal pole, and smashed his shin against it. Then he walked over and showed my friend his shin. Let's just say it isn't perfectly straight. But there is no doubt that this guy is the real deal. He offhandedly throws hits that I'm pretty sure would go straight through me. At the moment, though, I'm snapping off about 200 kicks a day, and then spending the rest of the day crying silently to myself during class. The thing is I'm just not far enough along to learn anything cool, which is fine. But he doesn't do the warm ups or cool downs with the class. He's usually wandering around cleaning up, or on his computer. The stretches are pretty freaking painful, and I'm grateful he doesn't speak much English, because I have rarely sworn as often as I do during these torture sessions. I mean, honestly, after 7 minutes rolled onto my shoulders doing random leg movements straight up into the air he still hadn't stopped hanging up the extra towels. And this other thing we do- we squat, knees to our chest, and bounce 3 times, then jump up just a little bit, and spin 90 degrees. We do this maybe 10 or 12 times, then crank out 20 or 30 push ups, then 60 or 70 situps.

I'm starting to think I don't need to be this bad-ass. My friends insist I'll be excited about it after a little longer. All I can think is how much I want to crawl inside a giant meat calzone and eat until I pass out... I'm considering Tai-Chi.

Seriously, though, it's really amazing. This has been a life long goal for me, and it's so unreal to actually be doing it. And when it gets to be too much, I just think about one thing.


I'm going to have a jacket and pants from the gym, with this on the back. And it won't be because I bought it at a flea market.











Random note for those of you out there who also do/did this kind of self-imposed torture- turns out I'm a southpaw in the ring, and I'm being trained as such. I'd love to hear any thoughts/advice on that front.

If your really bored, you can find more info on Muay Thai here.

Ok, I'm outta time. Much love folks, I'll write again soon.

-Al

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Thoughts At Six Months

I tried to get it out earlier, really truly I did. But alas, twas of no avail.

We hit the 6 month mark at the end of October, and while I'm a little behind in writing, I want to share some thoughts I had at this point. Like you care...

On City Life
I am a man for the burbs. Say what you like about city vs. country living, but I gotta tell ya, I prefer the suburbs. Central Floridian suburbs, to be precise. Orlando isn't a city- it's a town with some big buildings. And I love that about it. Seoul, even with one amazing mass transit system, still is a nightmare to navigate. In the time it takes me to cross the city by subway I could actually drive to Daytona, including a stop for Combos. But the hustle and bustle just ain't my style. I don't like having to step around God-knows-what, I don't like rats, and I miss trees and sky.

That being said, Seoul is a remarkable city. Crime, especially considering the number of people living here, is almost non-existent. The majority of the people are friendly, and all in all it's kinda cool to live in a place with a real skyline.

On Travel
Small world my ass. I flew 22 hours to get to Seoul. And it's still another 9 hours from Seoul to Sydney. I always understood the rough dimensions of earth, but to travel it is mind boggling. I just keep looking at all the people, listening to their stories, and sharing a small part of my life with them, and the enormity of the whole thing is overwhelming. It really is.

Korea vs. America
America, hands down. But that's not really what I meant. Let's see...

Students:
Korean schools are pretty much only academic. Motorcycle mechanics, Home Ec, and Yearbook just aren't on the menu. They supplement that with academies, just like mine, which offer a wide range of activities. You can find academies for music, English, art... you name it. Most kids seem to end up reinforcing the academic- so English, Math, and Science get the lion's share of the students. The kids end up with pretty long days, and a little stunted socially, at least by American standards. I've always felt the thing I learned best in high school is how to deal with people from all over- another bonus of Central Florida. The fact of the matter is that the social lessons are what makes public schools back home so useful. These kids are exhausted, stressed, and don't even understand the concept of dating.

The reason behind all of this is that there just isn't enough room at colleges for all the students. Every Korean student takes a College Entrance Exam, and that determines what college they can get into. Think of it like the S.A.T.s, but 100x more intense. Their entire professional lives, their range on the social and economic ladder, rests on one standardized test. In contrast, American colleges are easier to get into, but are more difficult to graduate from. In Korea, if you make the test score then the hard part's over.

Work Ethic:
Here's a place where Korea and I part ways.
In Korea, it's about the number of hours worked. These people are expected to work 10 or 11 hour days. The thing is, there isn't always 10 or 11 hours of work. So they spend a lot of time doing... well, nothing. It's not uncommon to find people sleeping at their desks. But the idea of leaving before your boss, or not being at work before your boss, is just no good. I have to be at work at 2:30pm, and my first class is at 3:40pm. I can plan my day in about 10 minutes. On Wednesdays I actually don't have class until 6:20pm, but that doesn't change anything. I know a lot of jobs back home are similar, but Korea is much worse about it. Most employees are also expected to do other stuff for "the good of the company," namely coming for free on Saturdays. Now, that may not be everywhere, but our Korean teachers do. Can you say, "Not a chance?"

It does start to cause a riff between the Korean teachers and ourselves when we have disagreements over contract stuff, or the way we're treated. We make more than them, work less hours, and get free rent. I'd be a little bitter too.

Manners:
Here I'm not sure. The staring is starting to wear me down, especially the outright unabashed practically open-mouthed staring we get on the subway at times. They also don't actually have a word for "please" or "I'm sorry". It's about Confucianism. Instead of "please" there is a specific conjugation that is formal, and is suppose to be used when speaking to those who stand higher than you in a society. The only word that actually means please is a pleading, almost begging, word.
The strange thing is that these folks have no idea what Confucianism is. It shaped their entire society, but now it's almost completely unknown. It just sort of 'pops up' in areas like language. It's also still acceptable to completely jump to the head of a line. This is infuriating. I don't see it often, and there appears to be some sort of pecking order to it, but it's hard to say. It's critical to keep this in mind when trying to decide how polite or rude a society is. People bump into me all the time, but without a word for 'excuse me' they just keep on going without even thinking about it. You can't judge a society fairly with your society's values. So I have no definitive answer.

On the Korean People:
These folks are a trip. They are friendly, very expressive, and at times a walking contradiction. The bathhouses are gender separated and mostly nude (Lord knows how the staring will go for me there...), and they are completely fine with laughing, talking, cooking, watching TV, etc. Men hold hands with other men walking around without giving it a second thought. There's even softcore porn on regular TV almost every night. But try to talk to a Korean about anything remotely sexual and they will ignore you completely. Illegal prostitution thrives 100 yards from my apartment, but you won't find a single strip joint. It's not just about sex, either. They will tell you that they understand the need for an American military presence, many will even say they're happy about it. But then the same person will tell you they blame America for the death of Koreans- namely the North Koreans we killed in the Korean War. They desperately want to be a unified Korea, and are upset at anything that hinders it, but also believe that North Korea would nuke them if given the chance.

On Other Foreigners:
I haven't said anything about the election, or anything other than my experiences here in Korea, in this blog. And I will keep it that way. But I'm afraid this does directly involve the election.

You would be shocked at the number of foreigners, mostly from Europe, South Africa, or Australia and the surrounding areas, that believe they should have a vote in American elections. Namely, of course, the presidential election. Obama's face is plastered up and down the streets of Johannesburg, South Africa, advertising for a cable company. It's the top news story the world over. And their feeling is that, since the USA is leading everyone then they should all get a vote. I've asked if we, as Americans, should get a vote in their elections, and the answer is no.

It's a very difficult experience. On one hand, it is amazing to sit and talk with someone from Ireland, Australia, and South Africa all at once. It is crazy to hear their stories, their take on life, the whole thing. But none of them seem to feel any need to be respectful in the areas of the US or Christianity. Both are freely ridiculed and insulted, the US much more so than Christianity. Now, most of you should know that confrontation is not something I have an issue with. But oftentimes I'm so surprised to hear these things that I just am left more confused than anything else. Growing irate and arguing just reinforces their preconceived notions, and calmer attempts are treated the same way you treat a child who claims they can fly- a patronizing smile, and a change of topic. To be honest, I avoid the subjects. When it's forced I remind them I'm what they're making fun of and make it clear I'll be happy to reinforce those notions. That and a fresh round tend to be enough. But it does sadden me a little, for their sakes, not mine. The only thing to truly earn my ire are Americans who casually insult the same things...

One last note- the rest of the world finds this "Asian-American, African-American, I'm 25% Irish" thing completely hilarious. It only exists in America. My white South African friend has a handful of stories of black Americans coming to Africa- they are funny and very politically incorrect. We, ladies and gentlemen, are Americans. Neither Germany, Ireland, Africa, or the rest of the planet is going to claim you. Sorry.

Travel Plans After Korea:
These plans still change pretty regularly, but here's what we got.

The plan is to catch a boat ride from Seoul to Qingdao, in China. From there we'll catch a train into Beijing to see the Great Wall and after a week or two we'll fly from Beijing down to Sydney. We'll wander up the Eastern coast of Australia, while still making it to see Ayers Rock, and then from either Cairns or Darwin we'll make our way into Indonesia, and from their into the Philippines and/or Malaysia. The goal is to land in Vietnam, and begin making our way west until we run out of cash. The expensive parts are the plane ride to Sydney and the time in Australia it self- we're still considering looking for some odd jobs to help cover some of the costs. Any job will probably involve me sweating a lot, but that's ok. Once we're in Southeast Asia we can travel overland, or by boat, and that is all pretty cheap. Even the short island to island flying can be very cheap, but we'll see. We're estimating getting back to home by late August on the early end, first week of October on the very late end.


A couple things to close with:

We really are a blessed group of people. The people I am lucky enough to call my friends and family are some of the best folks in the world. Honest guys, I haven't seen our ilk anywhere else. Please know that Jen and I love you all dearly, and we miss you terribly. We both find ourselves a little homesick with the holidays fast approaching, but we're doing great. I can't say it enough- we love you all, and miss you so so much.

Ok, two more things. First, I found a classic, yet short, example of the writing I correct everyday. This is it, exactly.

My is very sick
I'm very sick and cool but I'm happy and sad. My friend and my is Sam sam (This was good enough to get a score of 91...)


And, since I know it's been a lot of my rambling without any pictures...

SIGN TIME!!



Nope. I got nothing to add.


Love Always,
Al & Jen