Learn to appreciate your bathroom.

Welcome back, dear readers. Your 4th favorite person in all of South Korea is at it again providing everything you didn't know you wanted to know...

Sorry it took a while, but there was way too much month at the end of the money. Even my $1 an hour PC Bang trips had to be put on hold as we played yet another round of "How Cheap Can We Eat?"

The answer, if your curious, is pretty damn cheap.

But Paycheck Friday (one of my most favorite holidays) has come, and Jen and I got to eat beef again. Good Lord, it was wonderful. That aside, I've got quite a hodgepodge to share. Let's get to it!

First off, I've come to the realization that more people are visiting my blog for Dan's comments than anything I've got to share. I'm fine with that.

Coming in at #2: Did you already watch the video? Well, if you didn't check it out. It's a separate post titled "Korean FTA Protest".

You've already read more than enough about the Mad Cow thing. Well, here's the actual problem. ROK Pres Lee Myung-bok has a Free Trade Agreement between South Korea and the US all lined up, along with plans to privatize several government run agencies, including water. The video shows a chunk of the crowd (there was more farther back) that attended a protest against the president and the FTA. Jen and I had gotten lost on our way to meet some friends and thought we'd found a festival. Oops. I've got a few more pics below. The protest started at dawn and ended with a candlelight vigil- yes, candlelight vigil- put on by middle schoolers that evening. There was also concerts, free stuff, and games for the kids. I'm still not kidding.

Here's the free fans given to everyone as they arrived. Jen saved hers.

Remember the whole "games for the kids"? Here's their chance to fight the crazy cow that will kill them all in 5 years.

Not to mention the guy to blame for all that... this one I did not feel comfortable with.

And this would be funnier, I think, if I read Korean. And if the picture wasn't partially covered. I don't know why it was, but we thought it best not to mess with it.

Turns out we were right. There were actually some riots in parts of Seoul in the days following the rally. Jen and I were no where near by (thank you Lord) but all the same...

I really don't know what to make of it all. These kids are genuinely terrified they're going to die if they eat the beef. The Koreans are also claiming that the small farmers will be put out of work. But it's impossible to tell what's true and what's not. The multinational corporations have the media firmly in hand. Also, I don't speak Korean.

Numero tres, there is now less of me to love. That's right, dear readers. Al Sterling has officially dropped below 230lbs. I was coming in at a comfortable 245lbs when I left the good 'ol US of A, and stepping on a scale early this week I was delighted to see I had hit 229lbs. Following a game of racquetball and not fresh from lunch I was actually weighing in at 223lbs, but I'm calling it 225lbs at the moment. No matter how ya slice it though, 15lbs in a month ain't bad!

If you're waiting on such detailed analysis of Jen's weight... well, I'd get a snack. It'll be a little while.

Speaking of the racquetball game, allow me to introduce Andy.

To be fair, this is not Andy's best picture.

Andy is currently serving his country in the US Air Force stationed in South Korea. He's not allowed to tell me what he's doing, and I'm perfectly fine with that. The reason his adorable face is decorating this most important of blogs has to do with his very generous nature. You see, Andy has gotten Jen and I access to the Army base where he is stationed. This is, for those of us on this side of the globe, kinda like being handed the keys to heaven. Ok, not THAT good. But still, it provides Jen and I with access to Taco Bell, Southern Comfort, and a myriad of other things you just can't find elsewhere. Andy has to be there to let us in, and is responsible if we do anything stupid. Meaning, obviously, he doesn't leave my side. There's a racquetball court on base, which is where I also came across the scale that delivered such wonderful news.

Andy, in addition to being one of my very favorite people, is also boyfriend to Emily Valenzuela, a childhood friend of Jen's. Let no one doubt his bravery.

I'm kidding Em. He's lucky to have you.

(But seriously...)

Let's see... where to next? How about the reason for our title?

So our apartment has one bathroom. It's about 6 feet long and probably just shy of 4.5 feet wide. As you walk in the bathtub is on the opposite wall, with the toilet to your immediate right and the sink occupying the sliver of space twixt the tub and the toilet. This matters. If your confused, go grab a pencil and paper and do a sketch. I'd offer to wait, but it's a blog.

Ok, ok, I'll wait.

Done? Really? I mean, that's fine with me, I just think your sketch is a little... well, let's just say I know you could do better. Doesn't matter, let's move on.

The problem was our tub leaked. The water came out between the tub and the floor and formed a nice slippery death trap in the middle of the bathroom before beginning a very slow journey to a floor drain under the sink. We reported this to our boss, who promised he'd take care of it. Wanna see what happened? Scroll down.

If you look very closely in the bottom left hand side of the picture you'll notice that the TOOK OUT THE WHOLE FREAKIN' TUB. I know you're probably wondering when they'll bring in a new one. Turns out "bathtubs" aren't really in vogue in Korea. Instead, they retiled. Some of you are also noting they didn't clean up the excess grout. You would be missing the more major problems. Like the lack of a bathtub. Or, interestingly enough, another drain. Guess where it is? Right-o. Under the sink, right where it was.

This, by the way, was enough to finally send my darling pillar of strength over the deep end. She's a bath person, and doesn't seem to find our new arrangement conducive for soaking. We're in talks to see if we can get one put in. Seeing as my boss didn't know the word "bathtub", I'm not pinning my hopes and dreams on this one.

Moving ever onward...

Well, it happened. It took over a month, but there's officially a little girl over here who has started to smile pretty and convince me she's a sweetheart. She'd be the one to the far right, apparently in mid-disco dance. She and her little cohorts have taken to visiting me in the teacher's workroom (more on that in a moment) between classes and asking me questions, saying hi, and in general being adorable. Her #2, Ruby, isn't in this pic. I'll see if I can't get one of the two culprits together up soon. The rest of the kids I work with, for the record, still are terrified of me. Which is as it should be. Jen's been kicking kids out of class with some regularity, and it seems they're starting to understand that it is a bad idea to underestimate my wife. So all seems to be well over there. It's just this batch...

And what the hell? How do these kids get to come into the teacher's workroom? I was IN COLLEGE and STILL the freakin' workroom is off limits. At their age? Forget about it. There were whispered rumors of students who'd made it in, but they were past off as myths. Nothing like this. They pour in, dozens of them, making a general raucous between classes and annoying the hell out of us. The Korean staff don't seem to mind. I'm considering a bull whip.

Ok, 2 more items.

Saturday night I went out with a few of the other teachers. We landed in Itaewon (ee-tay-wahn), which is right next to the Army base. South Korea seems to have agreed to surrender the area of town as long as the Army guys promise to not wander too much farther. And everyone is happy. Point is, there's a lot of Westerners around. 5 of us go wandering around, starting trouble, and in general enjoying ourselves. The night gets a little nuts and ends up with the other three having a slightly more memorable night than Jen and I. I'm leaving out names, but here's where they were when I left them.

The Girlfriend: Sprawled on her back in an alley outside the last club we stopped at. She's alternating between crying and yelling obscenities. Turns out her boyfriend caught her having some fun with a boy with quick lips...

The Boyfriend: Toe to toe with what I can only assume was a member of Seoul's finest. He was a big dude, all in black with a bulletproof vest and an asp (collapsible metal pole used for "subduing suspects") on his hip. Neither of them look happy as The Boyfriend explains, slowly and carefully, that he needs to go back inside so he can "kill the guy that kissed my girl. I mean I will stab him in the throat."

The Buddy: Unknowingly hit on a transvestite in a McD's at 3am. He got shot down.

Everyone, from what I heard, made it home ok. Personally, I've gotten to a place where I no longer sweat it if folks seem intent on self destruction. It's a good step for me. It's also a great story.

Last bit before I throw you some random pics to round us out: My buddy Sam and I have landed a gig dj'ing at one of the more well known bars in Seoul. Rocky Mountain Tavern will be featuring yours truly for the next 4 weeks on a trial basis. Easy money, free drinks, and new friends. Jen and I are rather pleased. Jen and I had decided to see if we could make a little extra scratch on the side, and while most of the teachers do private lessons we thought we'd see if we could find another option. And so we did. It was the first spot I walked into, and happened to catch the owner with some free time. We did a formal sit down this morning and bada-bing. Life is good.

And now, the promised pics.

Here's the world map found in Korea. I know there's no real reason to put the Americas on the left, but I thought it was interesting all the same. Almost every world map I've seen is laid out the same.

This trio was playing in a subway station outside the bottom of a bookstore. They were pretty good, too. It was definitely not something you'd see in Orlando. Especially with the lack of subways.

You may be wondering if that is, in fact, Al and Jen laying down on a mattress outside. The answer is yes, yes it is. What we've been sleeping on I still think may actually be a box spring. We wanted to test if this mattress was softer. It was not. But I sure as heck don't look 15lbs lighter there, do I?

And this would be us at Mark's (red shirt) birthday party. Because they follow the lunar calendar you may be up to 2 years older in Korea than you are in the states, depending on when you were born. In Korea I'm 29. Which means I'll turn 30 twice. Yea.

And this would be Jen and Jessica at a local Noreabang. I mentioned these earlier. They're essentially Karaoke rooms that you can rent for you and your friends, all self service. They had a decent selection of English songs too.

And you're very favorite time of all...

SIGN TIME!

Now, you may think that we would not need a sign to tell us that sliding down the stairs on your bum is not allowed. But look closer, and note that nothing in the picture tells us we can't. That's important to note since while descending a rather steep flight of stairs watching Firefly on my Ipod I slipped and slid on my keester down half a flight of stairs. I'm alright, if a bit sore. I may be a moron, but I'm a moron who follows the RULES, damnit.

And that'll do it for another chapter. We've got some really cool stuff coming down the pike, and we're pretty happy about just about everything. The Good Lord has been keeping a sharp eye on us and has been making his presence known around us as well. And at that point you gotta be feeling good, ya know?

Much love,

Al & Jen