Camera Thieves, Turning 30 Twice, and Other Things I Won't Enjoy

Hello Readers!

Well, where to begin? How about the camera? My camera was stolen about a week ago, and I'm heartbroken. What makes it worse is it was my own damn fault. I wasn't thinking and left it sitting on the table. A $350 camera sitting on a table like it was a freakin' half empty can of coke. Grrrrr....

But let's not dwell. This blog will still not be light on photos, I've got some extras I've been saving, not to mention pics I've snatched from some new friends. You're welcome.

So back home we have water coolers. I know, I know, shocking revelations are just a part of my charm. Well, they are a mandatory part of all Korean businesses. Seems the water isn't all that safe to drink (I'm doubting it. One of our teachers has been drinking it like its... well, water... and hasn't died yet. Though, to be fair, I'm not drinking it myself.)

But that's not the point. Point is, if you go to your water cooler you will occasionally find there are two spouts- a blue one for cold water and a red one for cold water. Not so in fair Korea. The blue one is for chilled iceberg water, and the red one is for water that is so hot it will melt the skin from your bones. It actually is a two step process so that small children are not killed by contact with it.

Yes, I burned myself on it.

But on the plus side, it's fantastic for soup.

Why does everyone feel the need to insist the place they are from is as hot as Florida? Here's the thing: if you're not from THE SUN you're place ain't as hot. Period. Seoul hasn't seen a 9 in the tens digit yet, and we've already hit July. But here's the big difference: when it rains here, the temperature drops. Anyone who lives in Florida can tell you that when it rains in the summer that just means the air becomes almost impossible to breathe. It only gets hotter. What I'm experiencing is like a pleasant autumn.

I'm not bragging, by the way. When you folks back home are enjoying boating in December, I'll be refusing to come out of my apartment. What scares me most is people insisting that Seoul doesn't get that cold, only down to -10 or so. I'm hoping that's Celsius, but that's like hoping the car about to hit you is a small one. No matter what, it's going to suck.

In other news, it turns out that Koreans follow both our Western calendar as well the lunar calendar. Also, everyone is born at the age of 1, not 0. So between these two things it turns out you are a year older, or if you were born around the right time, two years older. I did the math (and by that I mean I had a couple Korean kids figure it out) and it turns out in Korea I'm 29. That means I'll be turning 30 in Korea, only to come back in time to do it again back home.

No, I'm not kidding.

But maybe it's because 30 will be so awesome for me I'll be forced to do it twice in order to avoid exploding with awesomeness.

Don't laugh, I lost an uncle that way.

But not really.

One of my kids ran up to me between classes and gave me what appeared to be a potato chip. I knew better, but I liked her and I was busy, so I tossed it in my mouth.

I don't know at what point someone was eating fish and thought 'Hmmm... we should make this into a chip,' but let me assure you, it was a dark day. Chowing down on this was like taking all the fishy flavor I already couldn't stand and disguising it as a delicious source of cholesterol, then coating it with some powder that, upon contact with my tongue, burrowed itself in so that everything I ate or drank for the next hour tasted a little like fish.

Note to Coca-Cola: Fish Coke isn't a good idea.

The only thing arguably funnier than watching me eat this was about an hour later when I was offered another chip by yet another adorable little Korean child. Feeling very proud of myself, instead of popping it in my mouth, I took a good whiff first.

Snorting fish-flavored powder is a very bad idea.

So, in Seoul recycling is required. We have to sort our trash by cardboard, compost (nope, no garbage disposal), something else, and then some other stuff. If you don't do it, then you'll be fined about $50 USD. Personally, I go for the 'sneak it down at 2 in the morning when no ones looking' method. What can I say? I'm eco-friendly.

My problem isn't that I hate the earth. Well, ok, my problem with THIS isn't that I hate the earth. The thing is, if you're going to pride yourself on your recycling, then you really should look into not littering. It's kinda a problem out here. I was annoyed about it until I noticed that there are virtually no garbage cans around. So folks just kinda toss it.

Thing is, the city is still pretty clean. Every morning at around 4:30 or so an army of little old Koreans take to the streets with funky wheelbarrow looking things. They sweep the streets, literally and figuratively, collecting all the trash and recycling it. Maybe it's what goes for a 401k out here, I don't know. But I will say it'd seem easier to put out garbage cans. But what do I know?

Yes mom, I always carry my trash until I find a garbage can.

Speaking of kids, I was on the subway on a long trip home from some random destination. Jen and I were both exhausted. Across from us is a dad with a fussy little boy that he has managed to calm down and get quiet, much to our relief. But then along comes some random man who starts trying to get the kid to play with him. While the dad is holding his now drooping little boy this older gentleman starts poking the child, rubbing his head, etc. The kid wakes up and starts crying. The dad tried so hard to calm his son down, until the man finally leaves the kid alone and one stop later along comes a woman who does the same thing, with the same result. I watched as it happened no less than 4 times. Dad just smiled an embarrassed smile and tried to soothe the child. This led me to several personal decisions.

1) If you touch my child, and I don't know you, I'll hurt you. Badly.

2) If you wake my fussy child up by poking him, I'll... well, I guess I'll just hurt you. But still with the badly part. WITH GUNS.

Ok, not several. Just two really obvious no-nos.

We found a church! Let me tell you the tale.

We found out about the church through a soldier out at Rocky Mountain Tavern where I was doing my volunteer work. He gave us his info, and we made it out the next week. As Jen and I discussed this development, I had to let her know about a few things that were going to knock this church from contention.

1. First time the pastor starts healing, I'm out.
2. If someone is rolling around on the floor, and they're not on fire, we'll be taking our leave.
3. No snakes.

Ah, God. What a sense of humor you have.

I said nothing about time.

See, growing up the churches I attended were done in an hour flat. If the pastor hit an hour and ten minutes he heard about it. Hit an hour and a half and he'd find boxes for his stuff waiting in his office.

Pastor Hwang apparently has no such conditions on him.

He wasn't a bad preacher. His English was great, and he was passionate. But the man makes me seem terse. He crammed 3 sermons into our hour and a half service, all run together into one very very long diatribe. That's what I get for making demands.
But we're happy with the church, and we're planning on making it a regular deal. More updates on his verbosity as I continue to call the kettle black. Since by reading this it's obvious you are very bored, you can read about our church home here.

Rounding us out, work life is going well. Jen and I are working side by side, finally, so I'm happy about it. There is some frustrating points, mostly due to management issues and the like, but Jen and I are making our way through just fine. We're finally getting to know some of the Korean teachers, which has been wonderful. They're funny, helpful, and great with discipline. I watched one Korean teacher grab a boy by... well, she pinched really hard on this spot just past the bottom of the jaw, kinda under/behind the earlobe. She practically drug him away by it. It was priceless.



Ok, if you just hurt yourself pinching yourself there, you have to post a comment and confess. I'm betting on 6 of you.

...yes, i did it to myself too.

Alright, let's take this puppy home.

By all accounts, sounds like the 4th went well back home! We did ok out here. It was a little depressing, we did think about you all a lot. But we actually had a pretty good time ourselves. 4th of July 2008 found Jen, Daisii, and I in front of a Korean BBQ place drinking Soju with a few other Americans, a Canadian, and a really sweet girl from South Africa. We all toasted the States repeatedly, and laughed and carried on and such. If we couldn't be home, we were thrilled to be there. Here's some pics.

This is Jen, Angel, and I at the restaurant. Yes, the South African girl is white.

Here's Angel and I hitting our amazing sexy faces pose. It's ok if your a little intimidated.

From left to right, Daisii, Ian, Devin (Canadian), Sam, Jen, and Nobody Important.


Alrighty, I'll just throw some more pics at ya and go to bed. Got to be up for that 1:30pm church service. If you've been hearing about the protests, and the occasional violence, fear not. We're perfectly safe. The reports are not exactly accurate, and we've steered clear of the areas where the protests have been happening since they started getting a little more squirrely. I'll be able to write a bit more often now, so I'll get more on it to ya real soon. But rest assured we are fine.

We actually found a decent pasta joint! I wanted to show you the before picture, but I think we all know that wasn't happening...

This thing opens up, and you crawl inside and play the video game. It was kinda fun, but REALLY hot. But it was also free. So I played repeatedly.

This is a car seat for a small child strapped to the back of a small (~120cc) motorcycle. I've got nothing to add.

These are a few of our coworkers. The one on the left got married last weekend, the one in the middle was the one to do that hardcore pinch thing, and I'm really concerned I'm about to crush them both.

This is the greatest thing ever. Period. It's called a Steak VIP Sandwich from a place called Issac's. They take two pieces of bread, a perfectly square shaped... slice... of scrambled eggs (with corn in it), steak (read: mystery meat), shredded white vegetable lookin' stuff, cheese, and two different sauces of unknown origin. I'm pretty sure one is BBQ sauce. The other... no, no clue. French dressing? The color's right.

Point is, it's DELICIOUS. And it's $2. God bless South Korea.

-Al